No matter how much we avoid it, there are really those times when we get caught up in an argument with our friends. Unfortunately, for those who are not accustomed to friendly but adversarial discussions, some arguments may turn out sour. This happens when words get entangled with anger fueled by our frustration to win the argument we are into. Out of fear that further discussions might result to permanent damage in our relationship with these friends, some would settle to keeping their ideas to themselves and simply succumb to what other people tell them is right or true without really putting up a good fight to justify why their beliefs are worth hearing out as well.

But there are actually means to express our sentiments without fear of ruining any relationships. We don’t have to be mum with or protests and ideals. All that we have to do is to learn the art of friendly argumentation. There are several techniques in handling arguments with friends. Here are the top picks:

1. Always Listen Attentively

Almost everyone gets irate when people do not listen to what they say. This is the golden rule of friendly argumentation: always listen attentively. By listening, you do not only gain the favor of your adversary, but you are also most likely to understand and comprehend what he or she is talking about, and where he or she is banking his or her arguments. One very good incentive of listening is that you don’t misinterpret what your adversary is saying, with that you can formulate direct rebuttals or protests against what they say without departing from the original discussion. By listening, you get to screen everything your adversary says, most often than not, there should always be something improbable or inconsistent with what they say, and that’s where you begin your refutation and counter arguments. Sometimes, it is very effective to disprove their claims by using the very same words they use to forward this claim.

2. Do Not Be Afraid to Make Concessions

Most people are afraid that by showing the slightest hint that you agree with what your adversary says then automatically you would appear as if you are already buying their entire case. But this is not necessarily true! The truth is, by conceding to bits and pieces of your adversary’s claim, you give the impression that you do not just argue for the sake of opposing, but you argue because of some inherent lapses in the principles behind the claim. Remember that when having arguments with friends, you do not have to oppose everything that they say, you just have to oppose a core idea, and from there you begin building your own case.

3. Never Use Foul Language

However tempted you are to call your adversary names, please do not do so! Foul language bridges contempt and contempt the key to damaged relationships. Just remember that the purpose of the argumentation is to iron out things, to make people understand your cause. Do not allow childish impulses to depart you from this main goal.

In the end, what matters most is your opportunity to express. We express to people we care about because we want them to understand, because by being understood we foster acceptance, which is the most basic ingredient to lasting relationships. So how do you win an argument without losing your friend? Simple. Follow the steps given above, learn to respect that in one point or two, both your opinions would differ, and forever acknowledge that friendship is strengthened not only by homogeneous ideals but of varied ones which manage to sync no matter what.